Unlocking Persuasion Powers: Easy Tips to Talk Your Way to Success

Summary: This post delves into the art of persuasion, first by defining it as the ability to convince others through reasoning or emotion, drawing parallels to the ‘influence element’ in Bazi study. For clearer actionable steps, I’ve outlined the 10 Principles in Persuasion with relevant examples. Also, 10 Persuasive Words to Use are listed with the reason why these ten are the most valuable in choice of words when we are talking our way to success. And I will also be discussing the merits of active listening as a key to increase persuasion powers.

For the WhatsApp group description of my team at work, I’ve chosen the NLP presuppositions of;

“You Cannot Not Communicate”

And since you cannot not, then it must be something crucial. Mastering the art of persuasion then can be the golden ticket for achieving your goals both personal and professional.

So, how can you sharpen this skill and increase your influence in conversations and beyond? Let’s dive into the world of persuasion and unlock the secrets to becoming a more compelling communicator.

Before you start wielding the tools of persuasion, it's important to understand what it involves. Persuasion is about convincing someone else to do or believe something through reasoning or the use of emotion, which is especially potent when emotion is involved. 

In Bazi study, persuasion is linked to the influence element which is the element able to exert some form of control over another. For example, Earth is the influence element for Water. 

For persuasion to be effective, it must have just the right amount of influence. Too forceful and you break the glass, making future dealings challenging.

“Persuade, Don’t Force”

Now that we have the definition let’s explore Persuasion 101. Here are 10 key principles I feel are important:

10 Key Principles of Persuasion

1. Lead with the Most Important Information: Start with key information to make it efficient for the other party to decide early on whether they can commit. Once they agree on the key points, the smaller details can be negotiated. 

2. Relate to Something Familiar: For example, relate it to an accepted norm or practice in the office, like water cooler talk.

3. Create a Picture: If you can show, it’s better than just telling. If not, paint a mental picture for them. For example, to describe the dire situation of a small team managing multiple difficult projects, you can paint the mental picture by saying, the team is “Sailing Against the Wind in a Crowded Sea”. When persuading the boss to allow for additional headcount, you can say the current team is like, “A Rubber Band Stretched to Its Limits”.

4. Use Actual Examples: This makes it relatable and easy to understand. 

5. Use Plain, Simple Language: Avoid abbreviations, codes and special terms to prevent any confusion and feelings of alienation. Abbreviations like CTR, CPC and TTT for example may only be familiar to some. 

6. Include a Call to Action: Like in marketing, always direct the customer to the next steps we want them to make. Make it clear what action you need from someone you want to persuade. 

7. Use Active vs Passive Voice: In active voice, the subject of the sentence performs the action expressed by the verb. This voice makes sentences clearer and more direct. For eg. In active voice: Tim designs the training module. In passive voice The training module is designed by Tim.

8. Answer the Unasked Questions: Address these as early as possible. When not addressed, unasked questions can fester into distractions from the other information you’re sharing and finally becomes a strong objection. For eg. When we think the price of a service is expensive, we tend to look for faults or weaknesses in the salesperson’s presentation.

9. Use Social Proof: People will do things they see other people are doing. Showing that others have made similar choices can help sway someone to your side. For eg. even in large corporations, some colleagues like to hang out together, usually the group size would be around 3-5 people, you can highlight one person in the group who have made the choice you recommended when persuading the others.

10. Appeal to the Basic Human Needs: Basic needs like sense of belonging, respect for each other, companionship with kindred spirits. All these creates strong emotions which are important in persuasion. I will also be giving 10 examples of persuasive words you can use in your conversation below.

10 Persuasive Words to Use in Your Conversations and Why

1. Discover -- Invites curiosity and exploration

2. Guarantee – Offers assurance and minimizes risk

3. Free – Attracts attention by highlighting no cost. There’s a saying that whether you are B40 or T20 (poor or rich), you’ll like it Free.

4. Easy – This is hassle free and you will not be bogged down.

5. Limited (Limited to, limited time, limited edition) – Creates a sense of urgency with scarcity and/or exclusivity

6. You – Personalizes the message, making it more relevant to the individual.

7. Save – Appeals to the desire to make economical choice

8. Smart – Well, no one wants to be the opposite word.

9. Proven – Builds trust by indicating reliability and credibility.

10. Results – Focuses on the outcome or benefits. Especially useful when speaking to senior level people.

And 2 more bonus words;

New: This gives feeling of novelty and excitement of being the first few to experience this.

Winning: It appeals to the desire for success, to feel we have succeeded by just making the choice that is in front of us.

Active Listening: The Key to Effective Persuasion

Active listening is more than just hearing the words others say; it is about fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. 

Here’s why it's essential to integrate active listening into your persuasive efforts: 

1. Builds Trust and Rapport: When people feel heard, they are more likely to trust and open up. Active listening helps build a connection that can make persuasion more natural and effective. 

2. Gathers Key Information: By listening actively, you can pick up on the speaker's values, needs, and concerns. What is the actual message that he/she is trying to convey? What is the emotion behind it? This information is crucial for tailoring your persuasive message to resonate with them deeply. 

3. Shows Respect and Earns Respect: As per the Principle 10 above, in persuasion, we appeal to the basic human needs. And respect is a big one. When you give your full attention this shows that you respect their opinions and perspectives. In return, they are more likely to respect and consider your viewpoints.

4. Prevents Misunderstandings: Active listening involves clarifying and confirming what you heard. You can paraphrase what the speaker said to clarify and check for accuracy. This practice can prevent misunderstandings that might otherwise derail your persuasive efforts. 

5. Facilitates Problem Solving: By understanding all aspects of the conversation, active listening enables more effective problem-solving, allowing you to address objections and find mutual solutions. 

How to Practice Active Listening:

1. Maintain Eye Contact: This non-verbal cue indicates that you are focused and paying attention. 

1. Nod and Show Understanding: Simple gestures like nodding show that you are following along without interrupting the flow of conversation. However, be careful of over-nodding and adding too many filler words. Just listen to any podcast when as a guest was moving smoothly in flow to express a point, nothing breaks the flow more painfully than when the host kept adding filler words to express understanding. I am also consciously reminding myself not to do this in my podcast with DK.

1.  Reflect and Clarify: Paraphrase or summarize what the speaker has said to confirm understanding and clear up any confusion. 

1. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the speaker to elaborate and provide more information, which can give deeper insights into their perspective. Tell me more and How was the impact of… usually does the trick.

1. Avoid Interrupting: Let the speaker finish their thoughts before responding. This respect for their input enables more constructive dialogue. Also, when we interrupt, some speakers may also choose to keep quiet and not further elaborate as they felt not heard. 

Incorporating active listening into your persuasive strategies not only enhances your ability to influence but also fosters healthier, more productive interactions. By truly engaging with others, you set a foundation for mutual understanding and cooperation, essential elements for successful persuasion.

“The Tongue Can Paint What The Eye Can’t See”

Chinese Proverb

In conclusion, the ability to persuade effectively is not just a skill, but a crucial component of successful communication, whether in personal interactions or professional engagements. By understanding the principles of persuasion and employing strategic, carefully chosen words, we can enhance our ability to influence others in a positive and fruitful manner. 

I hope that the above principles and persuasive words serves as a basic guide to you and may you have more fulfilling relationships and successful outcomes in all areas of life.

Cheers, Jaena